Sunday, April 23, 2006
My Social Behaviour
It always happens with me that I don't know from where & how to start so this time I just decided to start with this note. Well! The topic on my mind is "my social behavior". Social Get-togethers! I know the term is very clear to define; "bunch of idiots either gossiping about each other or engaged in one-up man ship battles on foolish & utterly brain damaging subjects, wasting the precious vocabulary on meaningless words". In my observation this is what happens most of the time. Let me narrow down my social group classification to a group "Social friends", the people you meet through your friends and friend's friends (the cycle goes on until it just becomes terribly hard to remember the names to be associated with their respective faces and then you just stick to two words, "Hi or Hello" in the beginning and "bye" in the end of a social get-together, oh! I forgot to mention "with a (forced) smile on your face"). Sometimes, I really ask one question to myself "Do I really care for them?" or the other way round "Do I really care if I want to be liked by people?" And the answer is quite obvious to me "NO" all the time. My friends argue with me, "If you don't enjoy such social get together, then just try to avoid attending them". Every time, I didn't respond because I was also in search of an answer and I think I have found it, it is 'Availability of time'. I just don't know how to deal with the plenty of time given to you by mighty lord & special courtesy to lifestyle of Dubai.
Coming back to Group dynamics, there are always people in a group, who just can't stand each other for reasons sometimes beyond comprehension at least to my conscience, wait a second, even I am one of them, towards certain individuals where I always get the feeling "There is something terribly wrong with this person" and every time I look at their faces, it reminds me of a "Red signal" at the traffic lights. It takes a lot for me to start liking people & getting friendly with them. I get bored easily even though I don't show it. I just turn my ears deaf to any small talk that is taking place in a group. Sometimes because of quietness on my side, my caring friends ask for the proof of my existence on planet earth, asking whether something is wrong with me, I just don't understand what makes them think that way. Is it really important to participate in a conversation which you do not find interesting, just for the sake of showing your presence? And it is not the case as if I am not enjoying being in a group, instead I thoroughly enjoy observing idiosyncrasies of different people in a group, perhaps this is the reason, one of my most favorite scenes is Robin Williams explaining the importance of idiosyncrasies in life by giving example of his own wife who used to fart in the bed and then upon hearing this Matt Damon bursting into laughter in Good Will Hunting. I just love those small funny moments & simple things in life that is what really brings a real joy to me for eg. watching the curiosity & innocence in the eyes of my two friend's respective niece and nephew or a watching a movie like Hera Pheri. There is often a gap of Pacific Ocean about what I like to think about (eg. Watching "The Matrix") and where I find a true joy (eg. Watching "Munnabhai MBBS").
My preferred focus was and will always be on thoughts and ideas for which there is no linear function; any event at any moment can trigger any idea or thought. And it ranges from Karl Marx's "DAS KAPITAL" to Thomas Friedman's "THE LEXUS AND THE OLIVE TREE", from Big-Bang to Doomsday scenarios, from bullock cart to NASA's new Scramjet engine powered Hyper-X plane X-43A. I am a silence loving person. I always like to be quiet & prefer to maintain low-key profile. The reason behind this is that I am an introvert. One day, I just told my dear friend about my introvert nature, immediately he replied "There is nothing wrong with it", that moment, I wanted to tell him but I didn't, "Dude, I know that!! And my intention to tell you about it; is not as if I am confessing to a crime, so that you can judge it in terms of Right and Wrong". I just can not abort my thinking process & satisfy my appetite for more & more knowledge & information, I tried that by reasoning myself that not all the things I like to think or know about, have practical impact on my day to day life but in vain, I just couldn't do it. No wonder, now I realize, why do I want to smoke shisha so often or given a choice, get drunk; just to get rid of "active brain" for the some time.
Talking about "Friendship", it is easy to say that I should have learned by now; to make "friendships without discrimination". I think I have, but to a very "little" extent. Even though I am not a very talkative person but sometimes I want to talk to ease the mental pressure built up inside. But what is a friendship when I can not reciprocate? I can not talk about my subjects of interest, while the other person can; I can not talk about my concerns, my daily struggles, my life, while the other person can. I think the very notion of Friendship is based on common interests. My beliefs & subjects of interest are a big part of my life, as they are for most people. If we can not share that common interest, because my conversation falls outside of someone else's comfort zone, then... what is there to base a friendship on? Friendship is a choice which you exercise when it really appeals to your conscience. In common vocal dictionary, we call it as "Frequency Match".
Now when I am reading the entire blog, I want to ask few questions to myself, "Am I a very 'hard to know" kind of a person? "Am I being snobbish?" I don't know but for some strange reasons, the whole character of Andy Dufresne and Red's description of Andy Dufresne in The Shaw shank Redemption "I could see why some of the boys took him for snobby. He had a quiet way about him, a walk and a talk that just wasn't normal around here. He strolled. Like a man in a park without a care or worry. Like he had on an invisible coat that would shield him from this place", hits me very hard every time I see that movie. So far I just kept all these things to myself because I always had a trouble of expressing myself vocally by assembling right words at the right moment, I need time to think before I do so, and also because of the presence of more assertive "I am always right" people around me, hence the writing. I know lot of people will be ready with their own theories, judgments and conclusions after reading this blog. You are welcome to put forth your take on this in the form of comments.
¶ 12:35 PM Coming back to Group dynamics, there are always people in a group, who just can't stand each other for reasons sometimes beyond comprehension at least to my conscience, wait a second, even I am one of them, towards certain individuals where I always get the feeling "There is something terribly wrong with this person" and every time I look at their faces, it reminds me of a "Red signal" at the traffic lights. It takes a lot for me to start liking people & getting friendly with them. I get bored easily even though I don't show it. I just turn my ears deaf to any small talk that is taking place in a group. Sometimes because of quietness on my side, my caring friends ask for the proof of my existence on planet earth, asking whether something is wrong with me, I just don't understand what makes them think that way. Is it really important to participate in a conversation which you do not find interesting, just for the sake of showing your presence? And it is not the case as if I am not enjoying being in a group, instead I thoroughly enjoy observing idiosyncrasies of different people in a group, perhaps this is the reason, one of my most favorite scenes is Robin Williams explaining the importance of idiosyncrasies in life by giving example of his own wife who used to fart in the bed and then upon hearing this Matt Damon bursting into laughter in Good Will Hunting. I just love those small funny moments & simple things in life that is what really brings a real joy to me for eg. watching the curiosity & innocence in the eyes of my two friend's respective niece and nephew or a watching a movie like Hera Pheri. There is often a gap of Pacific Ocean about what I like to think about (eg. Watching "The Matrix") and where I find a true joy (eg. Watching "Munnabhai MBBS").
My preferred focus was and will always be on thoughts and ideas for which there is no linear function; any event at any moment can trigger any idea or thought. And it ranges from Karl Marx's "DAS KAPITAL" to Thomas Friedman's "THE LEXUS AND THE OLIVE TREE", from Big-Bang to Doomsday scenarios, from bullock cart to NASA's new Scramjet engine powered Hyper-X plane X-43A. I am a silence loving person. I always like to be quiet & prefer to maintain low-key profile. The reason behind this is that I am an introvert. One day, I just told my dear friend about my introvert nature, immediately he replied "There is nothing wrong with it", that moment, I wanted to tell him but I didn't, "Dude, I know that!! And my intention to tell you about it; is not as if I am confessing to a crime, so that you can judge it in terms of Right and Wrong". I just can not abort my thinking process & satisfy my appetite for more & more knowledge & information, I tried that by reasoning myself that not all the things I like to think or know about, have practical impact on my day to day life but in vain, I just couldn't do it. No wonder, now I realize, why do I want to smoke shisha so often or given a choice, get drunk; just to get rid of "active brain" for the some time.
Talking about "Friendship", it is easy to say that I should have learned by now; to make "friendships without discrimination". I think I have, but to a very "little" extent. Even though I am not a very talkative person but sometimes I want to talk to ease the mental pressure built up inside. But what is a friendship when I can not reciprocate? I can not talk about my subjects of interest, while the other person can; I can not talk about my concerns, my daily struggles, my life, while the other person can. I think the very notion of Friendship is based on common interests. My beliefs & subjects of interest are a big part of my life, as they are for most people. If we can not share that common interest, because my conversation falls outside of someone else's comfort zone, then... what is there to base a friendship on? Friendship is a choice which you exercise when it really appeals to your conscience. In common vocal dictionary, we call it as "Frequency Match".
Now when I am reading the entire blog, I want to ask few questions to myself, "Am I a very 'hard to know" kind of a person? "Am I being snobbish?" I don't know but for some strange reasons, the whole character of Andy Dufresne and Red's description of Andy Dufresne in The Shaw shank Redemption "I could see why some of the boys took him for snobby. He had a quiet way about him, a walk and a talk that just wasn't normal around here. He strolled. Like a man in a park without a care or worry. Like he had on an invisible coat that would shield him from this place", hits me very hard every time I see that movie. So far I just kept all these things to myself because I always had a trouble of expressing myself vocally by assembling right words at the right moment, I need time to think before I do so, and also because of the presence of more assertive "I am always right" people around me, hence the writing. I know lot of people will be ready with their own theories, judgments and conclusions after reading this blog. You are welcome to put forth your take on this in the form of comments.
Comments:
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couldn't go thru the whole thing, i guess u've written at runtime and haven't edited it.... seems tooo long to explain what u like and dont...
good evaluation of u'rself, but better keep it to u'rself and u'r close friends, coz down the line u do need to have a social circle around u (even though u don't care whether they like u or not)...this is true at least in India!!
good evaluation of u'rself, but better keep it to u'rself and u'r close friends, coz down the line u do need to have a social circle around u (even though u don't care whether they like u or not)...this is true at least in India!!
Wow !!!
You have expressed what most of us go through on a daily basis.
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You have expressed what most of us go through on a daily basis.
# posted by 
: April 24, 2006 2:53 PM
: April 24, 2006 2:53 PM<< Home
